Should you start dating before finalizing your San Jose divorce? There is no one right way to answer this question. Some people do start dating before their divorce is finalized, but there are compelling reasons to wait as well. It’s up to you to make an informed decision regarding this aspect of your case.
Legally, there is no reason you can’t date before your divorce is finalized. California is a no-fault divorce State, so dating won’t lead to you being accused of adultery or finding your new lover named in your divorce papers. The financial resolution you get from the court, after a trial, should be exactly the same as what you’d receive if you weren’t dating.
However, if your ex is feeling hurt and rejected, news that you’re dating again will almost always make him or her less likely to agree to a settlement. Dragging on a divorce case out of simple spite is not uncommon. This can be time consuming and expensive, which is a very good reason for either avoiding dating until your divorce is finalized or being very discreet about your new relationship.
If you have children with your spouse, you may want to postpone dating for their sake. Even if they are old enough to understand that their parents have been unhappy for quite some time, most children still experience divorce as a stressful life event. Introducing your new partner too quickly can complicate the situation even further, which may make it more likely your child will have trouble sleeping, start acting out in school, or exhibit other signs of emotional distress. Allowing your children the time they need to process the change in their family structure will help ensure that the divorce does not have a long term negative impact on your relationship with them.
If you think that you married the wrong person, then rushing into a new dating relationship, while under the stress of unraveling the old, failed relationship, will be a lot like pouring gasoline on a fire — in an effort to put the fire out. It almost always fails to work out well. It is so common as to be streotypical that these dating while still in divorce relationships see the parties dating practically carbon copies of their soon to be ex spouse. If your ex was a mistake, then why are you dating his/her clone? You should be careful.
Whenever you have questions about what behavior is appropriate when filing for divorce, it’s best to ask your attorney. A qualified divorce lawyer in California can explain the legal aspects of your case and offer tips to help make sure you get the most favorable settlement.